T R                                   7/26/   1999?

OK, lets see if I can do this without getting too personal or mean spirited.

First I need to set this up. I’m a 50 years old dude, ain’t seen too many of the folks I went to school with, for many a year. A little over a year ago my wife and I had dinner with some folks who live-d in our little town of a few hundred. Not long into small talk, the woman and I discovered we went to the same high school and graduated the same year. And wouldn’t you know it I just happened to have a junior high year book, so’s we were able to talk about mutual friends. Cool, brings back lots of memories, some pleasant, some not so pleasant.

Move ahead a year.

Out of the         blue         I’m contacted by a long lost significant other. A pleasant surprise, I think,    I wish,    I actually hope,     but after many years, one has to wonder, is it really possible to take up were we left off, as well as forgetting the perceived transgression, from each side. I mean in this case we are talking lots of years. I can remember running into folks a few years out of high school and thinking, man we got nothing in common anymore, what a jerk that person is. Or maybe its just me.

I can sure say this, (from my perspective at least) when we have the opportunity to say what we want, then re-read it and edit, then re-read and edit, re-read and edit, by the time we have our last draft it is perfect, especially drawing from 30 years of biased memories, and ten drafts. Well, we don’t always have it right.    Thirty years caught up in two weeks,  and half a dozen e-mails,  is as a jumbled a reunion as is the self-serving and wishful remembrances that started it off.

Oh how lucky we are to meet on the street to say hi in a reserved fashion, then boogie about our way and say to ourselves, next time I will talk a little more, or scoot the other way. This library of congress sent coast to coast in a split second has far less power and impact on my life, than my send button, or the "check my mail button".

Back to the classmates thing, long about five months ago I notice the classmates ad and click in, man in less than two minutes I am scopeing out all these names of people I grew up with, wow,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,. You can’t just join in though, you have to pay. That takes some thought.

I got two legitimate reasons to pay the cost, one, a friend had died and I needed to find his family and conformation that it is true and the other I read where a classmate of my deceased brother is asking questions about his death. I spring for the registration fee. I am in

Maybe I am the only one, but I still hold difficult memories, yea even now, about school days. I wasn’t the top in my class kind of guy. So right now I am going to take this opportunity and sneak this in here and say, **** em.        I get all A’s now.                                                                          See,           how can a person realistically renew what there never was.     And, for all the baggage we have passed on, we still want to those other folks to forget,    but we can’t even forget ourselves. So now answering those Emails becomes a gut wrenching ordeal

Back to the quitting the classmates thing.      Remember those high school rumors we were all guilty of back in the good old days, and how fast and damaging they could be, well you can pass bull **** faster in this venue, and they can still be damaging.   I would have thought, by this time, we all had plenty of time to sort  out  that rumors are not a nice thing to start.   Its too bad all the behind the scenes talk can't be put up on the classmates bulletin board,    but nope thats the,        in the open talk,                hey wait a minute?   Put up a private  thread on the bulletin board?    naw,  thats too mean spirited, but it sure could be revealing.    I guess we all have needs and wants  that wont be met.

Think about this.

After so many years do we want to get  mad about   untruths that have been passed by  old classmates,     I don’t know about you,         but I sure the **** don’t need this ****.         I got five old friends ,  one guys dead, but hes still my friend, and I have a new one. The new one I live with, and she is the best of all friends, and those are the ones I intend to keep.

So what do we do?      Who knows,   there are times I think,  you know,  I would love to get together with all those folks and say hi. And, I’m sure all those I thought were *** holes back then,        are probably *** holes in a different way now,       just like me.      But it would be fun and I'm sure we will all feel the same and we will tell it like it is,, face to face,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,E- Mailing ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, no,

                                                                later

5/26/later